Overqualified

stdClass Object
(
    [cid] => 5465
    [pid] => 0
    [nid] => 4247
    [subject] => for those who dont have
    [comment] => 
for those who dont have space for a book, is there a way to buy it for an e-reader?  I'd love to buy it, I just recomend putting a link on the site to a digital copy (that costs money).

    [format] => 1
    [timestamp] => 1270053248
    [name] => ECW Guest
    [mail] => jjrb07@gmail.com
    [homepage] => 
    [uid] => 0
    [registered_name] => 
    [picture] => 
    [data] => 
    [score] => 0
    [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;}
    [thread] => 0m/
    [status] => 0
    [depth] => 0
    [new] => 0
)

stdClass Object
(
    [cid] => 884
    [pid] => 0
    [nid] => 4247
    [subject] => Lawrence Northey
    [comment] => 
Dear Hiring Manager @ Mattell Corp. How many more robots do I have to build before you take these application(s) seriously? I know we could make beautiful music together, me on the Slinky, you on the Etch-A-Sketch, a symphony is born!

Lawrence (Dildo, Nova Scotia)

    [format] => 1
    [timestamp] => 1254153559
    [name] => ECW Guest
    [mail] => lawrence@robotart.net
    [homepage] => http://www.robotart.net
    [uid] => 0
    [registered_name] => 
    [picture] => 
    [data] => 
    [score] => 0
    [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;}
    [thread] => 0j/
    [status] => 0
    [depth] => 0
    [new] => 0
)

stdClass Object
(
    [cid] => 772
    [pid] => 0
    [nid] => 4247
    [subject] => ECW (outgoing?) Staff
    [comment] => 
Keeping up the tradition of #freebiefriday, today we offered a copy of Joey Comeau’s Overqualified to the person who could tweet us the best 140-character cover letter. We all had a good laugh, maybe too good...

All you clever contributors keep those handy when we get 140-character dismissal letters for spending all day on twitter. 
Now some honourable mentions based on our completely subjective amusement: 
Most prolific:

eugaet
Best suck-up:

 Allie Riley

      skinismy@ecwpress I ate my pancakes this morning thinking "Is there nothing better than J. Comeau?" the answer? ECW press. And wombats.  Allie Riley
Best Connection to other ECW titles: (Read/Seen Pontypool yet?)

      Jon perry

      Grubbyfoot@ecwpress Dear sirs; Employ me and I can guarantee a zero-tolerance stance on the forthcoming zombie apocalypse. Also, I am enthusiastic.
Best standalone tweet:

Alex Clements

      Alexrclements@ecwpress I need a job & I need it for the money. I have a dream, a dream of something magical & beautiful, but kittens & batter aren't free
But closely followed by:

      Emily Toone

      rhinestonewinoDear Nestle, standalone hot pockets. Your clientele would never have to put down their controller. Or get girlfriends. @ecwpress @reply
and

  Christopher Carlson

      boomtheearth@ecwpress Dear Employers, I majored in English, so I'm only qualified to give handjobs behind dumpsters. Please hire me. I have soft hands!
And here’s the full listing, (in reverse chronological order)
      Steven

      stevenae@ecwpress Dear Chiquita, I'm about to blow your mind and save your ad budget. "Bananas: they're fucking delicious and they cost 19 cents. 
      eugaet

      eugaet@ecwpress Dear Hiring Manager: I'm standing behind you RIGHT NOW. 
      eugaet

      eugaet@ecwpress Dear Hiring Manager: I put on my robe and wizard hat. 
       eugaet

      eugaet@ecwpress Dear Hiring Manager: I'm in possession of several...we'll say 'holiday' photos you would find interesting. I can start Monday. 
      Joe

      TheseDamnOceans@ecwpress I am more than willing to discuss my familiarity with the Anarchist's Cookbook and its applications in the dry cleaning industry. 
      eugaet

      eugaet@ecwpress Dear Hiring Manager: Can you keep a secret? 
      Kristin McDonald

      kristinmcdonald@ecwpress My future self told me I had to do whatever it takes to get this job, the fate of the world rests on it. The ball's in your court. 
      eugaet

      eugaet@ecwpress Dear Hiring Manager: When the student is ready, the master will appear. I'll be there shortly. 
      mason

      r4v5@ecwpress Dad didn't love you. I am comfortable helping others with Inconvenient Truths. I will be your carbon-emission reduction engineer. 
      emilie esders

      emilieesders@ecwpress unemployed parapsychologist who can rock a jumpsuit and proton pack looking to bust some lost souls. 
      mason

      r4v5@ecwpress I can leverage my proven experience as pinball wizard into any number of pinball-related positions. Do you need a pinball warlock? 
      mason

      r4v5@ecwpress I found this opening by watching you every morning, following you, checking your company's job boards. References upon request. 
      Kristin McDonald

      kristinmcdonald@ecwpress Ive talked myself out of doing amazing things. Had I not, Id be dead. It seems you pay a price to be safe. Now I want free things. 
      Max Jacobson

      maxjacobson@ecwpress Maybe I wouldn't have dropped out of college if I'd known porn actors had to write cover letters too. I have a huge dick. Yours, x          
      Christopher Carlson

      boomtheearth@ecwpress Dear Employers, I majored in English, so I'm only qualified to give handjobs behind dumpsters. Please hire me. I have soft hands! 
      Emily Toone

      rhinestonewinoDear Nestle, standalone hot pockets. Your clientele would never have to put down their controller. Or get girlfriends. @ecwpress @reply 
      Erin K

      erinlaurel8@ecwpress Hello. I am confident my condition is not contagious but am willing to telecommute. Resume attached (and fully sanitized).

          .

      Mariana Velázquez

      arrozc0nleche@ecwpress: Dear Madame, I'm not ambitious. I have never sought to rise from any given position, but I'm very limber and open to suggestions.about 3 hours ago from web
      Eric Vondran

      nscafe@ecwpress I wish I was in Tijuana, eating bar-b-qued iguana, I take requests on the telephone. I am qualified for Mexican Radio          
      Ornithopter

      ornithopter@ecwpress I don't have a degree, but 17 years of psychotherapy have given me plenty of real-world experience, and it doesn't look that hard.
             Leon Arnott

      webbedspace@ecwpress Hello. I will be executed on Saturday, and all my life I've wanted to be a fireman. 
      carina

      cbradio@ecwpress I just paid $214.08 to avoid a lawsuit. I stole some shampoo to impress a girl. Not that that's your fault, but...pick me? 
      Timothy Swann

      tetrarchangel@ecwpress @untoward Dear sir/madam, as a fan of obvious transexual jokes writing for your transexual joke book is a job I will excel at. 
.      Rusell Parde

      ruskerdu@ecwpress @reply Dear jerks, I'm too good for this job. a smart person would fire you and hire me as your replacemnt. cant wait to meet you! 
      eugaet

      eugaet@ecwpress Dear ECWPress Hiring Mgr: As crissy's position will soon be open, I offer my services. I don't even know what Twitter is. Promise. 
      Erin K

      erinlaurel8@ecwpress Dear Sir: I want your job so much I'm applying publicly via Twitter while at my current job. But I will never do that to you. 
      Nicholas Boshart

      NicBoshart@ecwpress Dear Executives; due to recent parental Madoff involvement, I'm required to find work. Skills include laissez faire and shopping. 
      Shaun Doiron

      officertango@ecwpress To Whom It May Concern, I have long wanted a full time position in IT ever since I saw that movie Office Space. 
      Sarah J H

      jhsarah@ecwpress SquareEnix, I am applying for FF game namer. References: Batman & Walgreens Pharmacy. Successes: BatCondom & WalBreastAugmentation 
      slstickney

      slstickney@ecwpress Dear Sirs: I am required to periodically apply for jobs in order to receive unemployment. Please do not hire me. Resume enclosed. 
      eugaet

      eugaet@ecwpress Don't know if mine was against the rules, as instead of 1 reply it was a comedy-tragedy in 5 acts...um, I mean tweets... 
      David Barker

      nouspique@ecwpress @untoward Dear Sirs, won't be submitting to yr contest as I've already read Overqualified. Loved it. Sadly, bought at Pages. Sigh. 
      Jack Kenneth

      JackKenneth@ecwpress Need a job? Make cash at home typing ads for companies. Work PT/FT and earn $100s weekly. http://bit.ly/kEK7Y 
      eugaet

      eugaet@ecwpress Dear Hiring Manager for Twitter, You can take your 140 characters and sod off. Why you would require applicants to su...NINE HELLS 
 @PosterchildPITH: @ecwpress Dear Samsonite Luggage, My Brother died and I need a job. Please find my resume enclosed. Joey Comeau. 
      Eric Vondran

      nscafe@ecwpress HR Manager;I'm a creative if but restrained writer. Please see my website for further examples of my writing: http://bit.ly/P6qQI
      Noah Rodriguez

      noahremainsanon@ecwpress Hello, I am required by law to inform you that I am a registered sex offender. Now, let me tell you what I can offer this company. 
      eugaet

      eugaet@ecwpress Dr Hrng Mngr 4 Twtr, Me = GUI dsgnr. Hv xp w/ wb dsgn&stds & I fl tht I cn ofr Twtr tht wch u r lkng 4. Pls c th flwng rsum...SIGH 
      eugaet

      eugaet@ecwpress Dear Hirng Mnagr 4 Twitr, I apply 4 GUI designr position. Have xperience w/ web dsign & stds & I feel tht I can offer T...SON OF A 
      Alex Clements

      Alexrclements@ecwpress I'm not going to be the most qualified employee you've got, I never finished school, but by fuck, I AM going to be the most naked. 
      eugaet

      eugaet@ecwpress Dear Hiring Managr 4 Twittr, I'm applying 4 position of GUI designer. I have much experience w/ web design & standards & I...CRAP. 
      Kathryn Oviatt

      Valheita@ecwpress Dear Mr. Comeau, I am applying for the soon-to-be-open position of ASW writer. Please relay my condolences to the Comeau family. 
      Alex Clements

      Alexrclements@ecwpress I need a job & I need it for the money. I have a dream, a dream of something magical & beautiful, but kittens & batter aren't free 
        Jon perry

      Grubbyfoot@ecwpress Dear sirs; Employ me and I can guarantee a zero-tolerance stance on the forthcoming zombie apocalypse. Also, I am enthusiastic. 
      poster child

      PosterchildPITH@ecwpress Dear Samsonite Luggage, My Brother died and I need a job. Please find my resume enclosed. Joey Comeau. 
      EvilJeremy

      EvilJeremy@ecwpress To Twitter, The 140 Char. limit is a great idea. As an employee, I'll take it to new mediums, I'd write more, but I'm out of room. 
      eugaet

      eugaet@ecwpress Dear Hiring Manager for Twitter, I am applying for the position of GUI designer. As 140 characters is hardly enough room...DAMMIT. 
      James Morey

      MC_Feste@ecwpress If I may borrow a permanent marker, I would like to correct the errors in your help wanted sign. I ask no pay but your shame. 
      paulcarpenter

      paulcarpenter@ecwpress Hi, this is my cover letter: if you give me a job then I will give you a kiss on the face. Can't say fairer than that can you now? 
      Allie Riley

      skinismy@ecwpress I ate my pancakes this morning thinking "Is there nothing better than J. Comeau?" the answer? ECW press. And wombats.

    [format] => 1
    [timestamp] => 1247256482
    [name] => jenk
    [mail] => 
    [homepage] => 
    [uid] => 24
    [registered_name] => jenk
    [picture] => 
    [data] => a:0:{}
    [score] => 0
    [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;}
    [thread] => 0h/
    [status] => 0
    [depth] => 0
    [new] => 0
)

stdClass Object
(
    [cid] => 734
    [pid] => 0
    [nid] => 4247
    [subject] => matt
    [comment] => 
the description of this book is how Ive been approaching online dating. it isnt all its cracked up to be.

    [format] => 1
    [timestamp] => 1245818528
    [name] => ECW Guest
    [mail] => mattkun@gmail.com
    [homepage] => 
    [uid] => 0
    [registered_name] => 
    [picture] => 
    [data] => 
    [score] => 0
    [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;}
    [thread] => 0f/
    [status] => 0
    [depth] => 0
    [new] => 0
)

stdClass Object
(
    [cid] => 701
    [pid] => 0
    [nid] => 4247
    [subject] => Cover letters exposed..... I
    [comment] => 
Cover letters exposed..... I bought it and it was definitely worth it. I love the dark humour and the bitter optimism. I was forced to write a cover letter while I was reading it and it made the entire experience less painful. I mean, who's out of work and sick of telling lies to pay the bills? Half the world? This is the best recession book to read because it reminds you that the job isn't the point. It's all that life and mystery and awkwardness and love.

    [format] => 1
    [timestamp] => 1244664008
    [name] => ECW Guest
    [mail] => firepixyflames@hotmail.com
    [homepage] => 
    [uid] => 0
    [registered_name] => 
    [picture] => 
    [data] => 
    [score] => 0
    [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;}
    [thread] => 0d/
    [status] => 0
    [depth] => 0
    [new] => 0
)

stdClass Object
(
    [cid] => 690
    [pid] => 0
    [nid] => 4247
    [subject] => simon from ecw
    [comment] => 
Overqualified started as a series on Joey Comeau and Emily Horne's site asofterworld.com
If you haven't been there you should check it out - it's free!

Well, mostly free. You pay a service provider to be online...unless you go to a library and use their computer. That's free. No wait, libraries are your tax dollars at work.  
My point is, we (ecw) like it that people recognize value in the book as an art form/cultural artifact/service provider/whatever- thanks for all your comments and support!

    [format] => 1
    [timestamp] => 1244294057
    [name] => simon
    [mail] => 
    [homepage] => 
    [uid] => 9
    [registered_name] => simon
    [picture] => 
    [data] => a:1:{s:17:"mimemail_textonly";i:0;}
    [score] => 0
    [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;}
    [thread] => 0b/
    [status] => 0
    [mimemail_textonly] => 0
    [depth] => 0
    [new] => 0
)

stdClass Object
(
    [cid] => 612
    [pid] => 0
    [nid] => 4247
    [subject] => Simon
    [comment] => 
Can someone post a link to a rapidshare of a pdf of this?
thx

    [format] => 1
    [timestamp] => 1240885761
    [name] => 
    [mail] => 
    [homepage] => 
    [uid] => 0
    [registered_name] => 
    [picture] => 
    [data] => 
    [score] => 0
    [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;}
    [thread] => 09/
    [status] => 0
    [depth] => 0
    [new] => 0
)

stdClass Object
(
    [cid] => 563
    [pid] => 0
    [nid] => 4247
    [subject] => I need this book. Gah.
    [comment] => 
I need this book. Gah. Forget need-- *clicks "add to cart" *
:) YAY

    [format] => 1
    [timestamp] => 1237643347
    [name] => 
    [mail] => 
    [homepage] => 
    [uid] => 0
    [registered_name] => 
    [picture] => 
    [data] => 
    [score] => 0
    [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;}
    [thread] => 07/
    [status] => 0
    [depth] => 0
    [new] => 0
)

stdClass Object
(
    [cid] => 541
    [pid] => 0
    [nid] => 4247
    [subject] => Hannah
    [comment] => 
This looks antastic and I really want one!

    [format] => 1
    [timestamp] => 1237497543
    [name] => 
    [mail] => 
    [homepage] => 
    [uid] => 0
    [registered_name] => 
    [picture] => 
    [data] => 
    [score] => 0
    [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;}
    [thread] => 05/
    [status] => 0
    [depth] => 0
    [new] => 0
)

stdClass Object
(
    [cid] => 490
    [pid] => 0
    [nid] => 4247
    [subject] => Michelle
    [comment] => 
I want to go to there.

    [format] => 1
    [timestamp] => 1236219557
    [name] => 
    [mail] => 
    [homepage] => 
    [uid] => 0
    [registered_name] => 
    [picture] => 
    [data] => 
    [score] => 0
    [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;}
    [thread] => 03/
    [status] => 0
    [depth] => 0
    [new] => 0
)

stdClass Object
(
    [cid] => 483
    [pid] => 0
    [nid] => 4247
    [subject] => Blye
    [comment] => 
I want one

    [format] => 1
    [timestamp] => 1235960772
    [name] => 
    [mail] => 
    [homepage] => 
    [uid] => 0
    [registered_name] => 
    [picture] => 
    [data] => 
    [score] => 0
    [users] => a:1:{i:0;i:0;}
    [thread] => 01/
    [status] => 0
    [depth] => 0
    [new] => 0
)